Intimate Partner Violence (Domestic Abuse)

What Is Intimate Partner Violence?

Intimate partner violence (IPV), also referred to as domestic violence or family violence, is a widespread but often hidden issue affecting individuals across all communities.

In Australia, it is estimated that around 1 in 4 women experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime, along with a smaller proportion of men.

It can occur in relationships of all kinds and often involves patterns of controlling, coercive, and harmful behaviours rather than a single incident.

Types of Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate partner violence can take many forms, and it is not limited to physical harm.

Physical Abuse

Includes behaviours such as:

• Hitting, punching, kicking, or choking
• Use of weapons
• Driving dangerously to intimidate
• Destruction of property
• Sleep deprivation
• Locking someone out of the home
• Physical harm to children or pets

Sexual Abuse

Includes any non-consensual sexual behaviour, such as:

• Forced sexual activity
• Sexual acts without consent
• Coercion or pressure to engage in sex
• Sexual humiliation or degradation
• Preventing contraception or protection
• Insults or threats of a sexual nature

Verbal Abuse

Includes:

• Repeated insults or “put downs”
• Humiliation in private or public
• Attacks on intelligence, appearance, or identity
• Belittling as a partner or parent

Emotional Abuse

Includes:

• Constant criticism or blame
• Undermining self-esteem
• Withdrawing affection or attention
• Manipulation and guilt-inducing behaviour
• Emotional unpredictability (e.g. silent treatment)

Social Abuse

Includes controlling a person’s social life, such as:

• Isolating them from family or friends
• Monitoring or restricting contact
• Relocating to isolate the person
• Preventing social participation or independence

Economic Abuse

Includes financial control such as:

• Restricting access to money
• Controlling all household finances
• Providing only limited allowances
• Preventing employment or financial independence
• Using the victim’s income without consent

Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships

Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics can help identify concerning patterns early.

Healthy Relationship Characteristics

• Mutual respect and honesty
• Feeling safe and emotionally secure
• Supporting each other’s independence
• Spending time together and apart comfortably
• Shared responsibility and decision-making
• Open communication without fear

Unhealthy Relationship Characteristics

• Fear of disagreement or speaking up
• Feeling controlled or monitored
• Isolation from friends and family
• Walking on eggshells around a partner
• Frequent conflict or intimidation
• Feeling anxious or unsafe in the relationship

Why People May Stay in Abusive Relationships

Leaving an abusive relationship is often complex and difficult.

Common reasons include:

• Fear that violence may escalate
• Financial dependence
• Isolation from support systems
• Emotional attachment or love
• Concern for children or family stability
• Cultural, religious, or social pressures
• Low self-esteem and self-blame
• Lack of access to safe housing or support

Abusive dynamics often involve control, fear, and psychological manipulation, which can make leaving feel unsafe or overwhelming.

How to Support a Friend Experiencing Abuse

If someone discloses abuse, supportive responses can make a significant difference.

You can:

• Ask: “How can I help?”
• Listen without judgement
• Respect their choices and pace
• Validate their feelings and experience
• Reinforce that they are not to blame
• Help them connect with support services

Avoid pressuring them to leave before they feel safe and ready.

Where to Get Help in Australia

If you or someone you know is experiencing family or domestic violence, support is available.

Emergency Support

• Police / Ambulance: 000

24/7 Support Services

• 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732
  National counselling and support for sexual assault and domestic violence
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
  Crisis support and emotional assistance

Additional Support Services

• Men’s Line Australia: 1300 789 978
• Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800
• Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277
• Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 811 811
• Sexual Assault Support Line: 1800 010 120
• Translating & Interpreting Service: 131 450

The Role of Psychological Support

Psychologists can support individuals affected by intimate partner violence by:

• Supporting emotional recovery and trauma processing
• Helping rebuild self-esteem and self-worth
• Teaching coping and grounding strategies
• Supporting safety planning and decision-making
• Addressing anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms

Recovery is possible with the right support and environment.

Call to Action

If you are experiencing relationship distress, fear, or abuse, you do not have to face it alone.

👉 Book an appointment with our clinical psychologists for confidential support and evidence-based care.

We provide trauma-informed therapy for adults, children, and families via in-person and telehealth sessions.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is intimate partner violence?

It is a pattern of abusive behaviours used to gain power and control in a relationship, including physical, emotional, sexual, social, and financial abuse.

Can domestic violence happen in any relationship?

Yes. It can occur in any intimate relationship regardless of gender, age, culture, or socioeconomic status.

Why don’t people leave abusive relationships?

Leaving can be difficult due to fear, financial dependence, isolation, emotional attachment, and safety concerns.

Is emotional abuse considered domestic violence?

Yes. Emotional and psychological abuse are recognised forms of domestic violence.

Where can I get immediate help in Australia?

Call 000 in an emergency or contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) for confidential support.