Anger Management

Is your temper, aggression or outbursts controlling your life?

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, it conveys a message and tells you when a situation isn’t comfortable, upsetting or not right. However, if your first reaction to is to explode, this anger can be an issue because it can harm others, and yourself. It is perfectly normal to feel angry, but it how we handle and express this anger is where problems can lie. It is perfectly normal to feel angry, but anger management is essential to help us avoid doing or saying something we regret in uncontrollable fits of anger. Failing to manage our anger can not only make us say something we regret, yell at someone we love or threaten someone. We can also develop health problems and can even resort to physical violence. Thankfully, there are many anger management techniques and strategies out there to manage your anger. We aren’t talking about never getting angry again, because it is a normal emotion! We are taking about how you can be less angry. Taking care of your overall mental and physical well-being can help ease tension and diffuse anger problems.

IS MY ANGER CONTROLLING ME?

Don’t forget, anger can be a healthy emotion, but only when it is expressed appropriately and in accordance to the situation. We will always feel anger when we are wronged or treated less than we deserve. However, intense anger can lead to negative consequences for all people involved.

Ask yourself, does any of this apply to me:

1. Has anyone commented on my anger?
2. Am I frequently in arguments?
3. Am I lashing out at others after minor irritations?
4. Do I have anger outbursts?
5. Do I find it difficult to stay calm in frustrating situations?
6. Am I finding it difficult to control my temper?
7. Have I threatened violence against a person or property?
8. Have I become angry and regretted it later?
9. Does my anger cause problems in my life?
10. Have I ever become violent or abusive?

If you are having issues and want to control your anger, you need to recognise the signs that are causing you to become angry. These triggers vary between individuals, but understanding these can be the first step in management of these unhealthy emotions.

HOW TO BE LESS ANGRY

A common misconception is that managing anger means never getting angry or supressing the emotion. This is not a healthy goal. The key to managing anger is to understand where the feelings of anger are coming from, and what message is behind the emotion. If we can express our feelings in a healthy way, we can control our reactions and in doing this, have a better chance at our needs being met, managing conflict, and building strong relationships. The first step is to reflect and discover your triggers. If you need help with this, our friendly and compassionate clinical professionals can assist you. With three convenient locations to choose from, our professionals can help you learn why you are angry and guide you through healthy anger management strategies.

To assist you outside of therapy, we have complied some easy tips to kick-start your anger management journey:

1. Count Down

Making the conscious effort to count down, or up to 10, can slow your heart rate and subside your anger. This gives you a chance to process the situation and discover how want to respond.

2. Take a Breather

Stepping away from the situation before it escalates gives you the opportunity to think clearly. The angrier you become, the shallower your breathing gets. Step away and take some big, long inhales and exhales.

3. Get out – Exercise!

Exercise helps us relax, calm our nerves, and reduce negative emotions, including anger, stress and anxiety. Get yourself moving with a run, walk, bike ride or yoga class.

4. Identify your physical reactions

Pay attention to your physical reactions when you are progressively getting angrier. Are you breathing faster? Are you seeing red? Do you find yourself pacing around? Do you feel knots in your stomach? True to pause these reactions and take yourself through progressive muscle relaxation. Think of one muscle at a time and relax, taking slow and deep breaths.

5. Talk yourself down, not up

Self-talk is important in every situation, but especially when you are become angry. Not allowing yourself to be negative and depict the other person as insulting and belittling. Try and self-soothe with comments like, “We can handle this”, “No point getting upset, let’s take a few breaths” or, our personal favourite – “We can control how we respond”.

Though change does not happen overnight, these strategies will allow you to have the best first step to coping and managing your anger.

WHAT IF I NEED EXTRA SUPPORT FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT?

We understand that strategies are easier said than done so if you need some professional guidance, at CBT Professionals, we want to help you recognise, cope, and express your anger in a healthy way. Our Brisbane and Gold Coast offices are home to highly skilled, knowledgeable, and professional psychologists, that can help with identifying your unhealthy aggressions and guide you towards changing your thinking and behaviour.

Please download our referral form here and take it with you to your GP appointment for preparation of a referral.

Contact us now via telephone or submit our online referral form here. That first appointment can put you in touch with your feelings and help you express them in the healthiest way possible!

Coomera – (07) 5551 0251

Nerang – (07) 5668 3490

Mount Gravatt – (07) 3102 1366

If you, or someone you know, required urgent help for anger management, please reach out to organisations like Beyond Blue. Or call the MensLine on 1300 78 99 78 for managing anger. Also, reach out to mental health helpline on 1300 22 4636. If this is an emergency, please contact 000 or visit your local emergency department.

Disclaimer: Content on this website is provided for education and information purposes only and is not intended to replace advise from your doctor or registered health professional. Readers are urged to consult their registered practitioner for diagnosis and treatment for their medical concerns.

REFERENCES

MensLine Australia. (2022). Managing Anger. MensLine Australia.

Holland, K. (2019). How to Control Anger: 25 Tips to Help You Stay Calm. HealthLine.

HelpGuide. (2021). Anger Management. HelpGuide.org.